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Baking in Brunei

7th April 2007

Four interesting things about Royal Brunei Airlines

1. The arrow that points to Mecca
   If you ever want to give praise to Allah in mid-flight and were wondering which way to prostrate yourself in the aisles, fear not!  Royal Brunei Airlines has everything a modern Muslim could want.  Its inflight system has a constantly updated arrow that will point the way to Mecca.  One wonders how you would manage to orientate yourself "just so" in the aisles...
   
    
2. The plane is blessed before takeoff
   This is a recorded message that is broadcast to everyone's seat.  Let's just assume that Allah actually likes recorded prayer.  He thinks, "Hey wow.  These people have taken the time to record a prayer.  Let's forget about all that praying from the heart rubbish.  It's the magic words themselves that matter."  If he does, then it would be in your interest to repeat this recorded prayer over and over.  Possibly even at high speeds so that the blessings rain down upon your flight.  One prayer would just not be adequate.
   
    
3. The inflight system sucks
   Sure, it points you to Mecca and plays recorded messages, but will it play movies on demand. Well, sometimes.  It only worked for about half the people around me. I was in the half that didn't work.
   
    
4. They don't do what they say they will do
   They promised me an hotel to stay in for my 24 hour stop over in Brunei.  The blank looks on both the airplane staff and the ground staff were not encouraging.  I ended up having to pay for it myself. 
   
   One suspects that this is the start of a fight over money...
    

Two Interesting Things About Brunei Hotel
I stayed the night at the Brunei Hotel

1. It eats credit cards
   Try as I might I could not find my credit card in my room.  I looked under furniture and stripped the bed, but still could not find it.  A bad start to my overseas trip. 
    
2. The cleaning staff's super powers
   The cleaning staff found said credit card.  A minor miracle.
   
    ????????

Four Interesting things about Brunei

1. It's hot
   Impossible-to-take-a-deep-breath type hot
   
    
2. The Mosque
   It's big.  It's colourful.
    
3. The streets
   Clean and tidy.  Very similar to Singapore
   
    
4. I don't really have a four
   Most of my time here was spent wandering around the city centre looking for interesting stuff.  I failed.

I dunno what it is about Brunei but it just didn't do it for me.  Sure, it was clean, efficient and well run but it just lacked character.  Give me the river city of Brisbane with its bubbling arts scene.  Or the cracked streets of Kampala with its psycho boba-boda drivers.  Or even give me pickpockets to fight off in Accra. 

Brunei needed something, anything...

Next stop: The Philippines!

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