Visiting Old Haunts
in Dunedin
4th May 2006
Much like Tasselhoff Burfoot, I have the disease of Wanderlust. I
left the comfortable climate of Auckland and flew south to Christchurch,
and then caught a bus south to Dunedin. I plan to gradually wind
my way north on buses, trains and anything else that is cheap.
Dunedin and Bad Memories
I visited Dunedin on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd of May.
I spent ten years living in Dunedin and would often extol its virtues
to other people. I remember talking to a work acquaintance in
Auckland once who was surprised that I was actually from South Auckland
as I raved about Dunedin so much.
It's been 230 days since I left Dunedin.
I did not enjoy being back in Dunedin. I can't see myself living
there ever again.
It's not Dunedin's fault though. Just being around the place
brings back too many bad memories and I slipped into bad old
habits. I found myself wandering around town with my face hidden
for fear of bumping into people that I knew. Bumping into anyone
would of been bad, it didn't matter who they were.
I found myself becoming the Malcolm that I didn't really like being.
Still, I was aware of it and what was happening and knew what to do
about it.
i.e. Get the hell out of there.
Visiting Shrinks
I talked about this with Tara Clark - my clinical psychologist -
while I was there. She said that it I had some hard times here and
it was a good idea to get out of crappy Dunedin. She wasn't quite
right though. It was time to get out of Dunedin that had too many
crap memories for me.
We also talked about my times in the
Philippines. It was nice to report back as some type of success
story. I have come a long way from the head space I was in when I
left these shores.
Too many of my friends from Ashburn
Psychiatric Clinic have gotten into serious trouble after
discharge. I tried to find my good mate Desiree Wright while I was
in Dunedin, but she seems to have disappeared. I miss you
Des! If you're reading this then please try and contact
me.
It is hard to write about this without sounding
too vain, but I did do many good things while I was in the
Philippines. Far and above what many of the other volunteers achieved
and this got me a lot of respect within the community. This is
probably best summed up by Raymund's
kind words.
This a far cry from wandering around Dunedin and being too afraid to
look up...
I realized when I was talking to Tara that there are two things that
I never write about here on my website.
The first is my time inside Ashburn.
I am very open about sharing that I was there and what
happened on a day-to-day basis, but not what I went through.
Too horrible, too raw and I'd have to talk about people who probably
don't want to be talked about. Myself included.
The second is about my marriage breakup with
Judy.
Inevitably tied up with my time in Ashburn,
but still too raw to write about. It is like a festering wound in
my side made all the more painful because it is self-inflicted.
I do try to make this website:
Visiting Old Friends
While being in Dunedin was not particularly pleasurable, I still enjoyed
visiting old friends.
One of the good thing about traveling is that
you get lots of stories that are fun to share with people. Sharing
stories was a little odd though and went something like this:
|
Me: When I was in the Philippines I
killed a goat and...
Other Person: Yeah, I read
about that on your website. You killed it a captain's house
and then ate it right?
Me: Err.. yeah. Still I
really enjoyed it there and the people were so great and
generous. Like these bracelets on my wrist, they were given
to me...
Other Person: I read that about
that too. They were from your students and that girl Regie
May in particular. *grins*
Me: Yeah... |
It was like all my stories were being stolen! (I'm looking at you,
Mike Miller!) I guess if I write so much here then it is only natural
that people are going to know my stories. I didn't really mind
though. At least I get a good story about stories out of
it.
I also noticed how passionate I got about the
Philippines when talking to other people. I talked about it's
problems and how the people struggled day-to-day.
I remember being part of (yet another) therapy
group and the first question they asked the group was for each person to
explain who they were and what they were passionate about. I found
the passion question very hard and couldn't answer it.
I find it nice that I now to have something to
be passionate about.
I also visiting Enabling
Technologies - the place I used to work at - and caught up with
people there. Gary Taiaroa - my old boss - was kind enough
to shout me lunch.
One of the guys there said that he saw one of
my old mates who asked him what I was doing. He pointed him to www.crazymalc.co.nz.
I like it that I have this massive information store about myself and
people can just come here and see what I am up to.
I have told everybody that I have met to check
out www.crazymalc.co.nz if they
want to know what I am doing.
Questions? Comments? Try contacting
me.
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(c)
2005 and 2006 Malcolm Trevena.
All the stuff on this site is written by me, Malcolm Trevena. Feel free to
link to this page. Heck, you can even copy stuff from here if you
want. Just make sure you sight me as a reference.
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