Why I do what I do
28th June 2006
They who had never wanted family are now
lonely old men.
Haruki
Murakami - Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World
What's next
I was explaining to a fellow volunteer what I plan to do next. It
went something like this:
- Finish volunteering here in Ghana.
- Volunteer in Uganda for six
months.
If you count the six months I spent in the
Philippines, then that's a total of fifteen months hardcore
volunteering!
- Briefly return home to New Zealand
- Fly to South Korea and get paid (!) to teach English for between
six and twelve months.
- With money raised in South Korea I'll go off volunteering all over
again.
I'm unsure where I'll go. Nepal seems like a fascinating
place.
I miss the Philippines terribly, so I may end up volunteering
there. I suspect I'll end up missing Little Liberia and Uganda
as well, so I can't rule out returning to Africa.
My fellow volunteers comment was, "Doesn't that get
lonely?".
It got me thinking about why I do what I do, because yeah, it does
get lonely sometimes. So I thought I'd write a little bit the pros
and cons about being a perpetual volunteer.
What it costs me
Money
Volunteerism costs money. This three months in Ghana, for
example, costs me $US 1,550 ($NZ 2,583) for accommodation and
food. While that is still quite cheap living by western
standards it makes my savings do
this. Which makes this whole volunteer lark an unsustainable
vocation.
Incidents like this
and this do not help
either...
There are volunteer agencies that do offer
sustainable positions. One such agency is called Volunteer Services Abroad.
They will pay your airfare, accommodation and a small living allowance.
The catch is that you have to commit for two years and have a
professional background. I almost volunteered in Papua New
Guinea before going to the Philippines. More info can be found
on my very first web entry.
I could still be working at Enabling
Technologies if I wanted to and be earning good money.
With bonuses, dividends and wages I'd probably could of made around
$NZ 100,000 in the time that I've spent volunteering.
Security
I think to do what I do, you have to at least sacrifice
security. When I return from Africa, I'll have no job, no money
and no significant assets. That's not a very secure position.
You might also have to sacrifice
responsibility. This sacrifice is understandably too much for
some people. Mortgages, dependant children and job
responsibility are all good reasons for not becoming a perpetual
volunteer.
I am in the fortunate position of not
being very responsible. Hmm... that doesn't sound quite
right. Lemme try again...
I am in the fortunate position of being
responsible to no person or thing. I can pack up and bugger off
to Africa if I want. I can arbitrarily choose to go to South
Korea if I want. No one gets a say in it except for me. I
like that.
Long Term
Relationships
I am forever part of a forever changing
group. One
group morphs into another, then another,
then another, then another,
then another, then another
then another, and yet another.
The only thing constant in the group is me.
I think one of the reasons behind the loneliness is that any good
friends that I have made soon disappear to the wind. Or is it me
that is forever blowing around in the breeze? Dunno.
"Long term friends" and "Perpetual Volunteerism"
seem to be two mutually exclusive phrases.
I have made some good friends along
the way. No doubt about it. I know I can walk into many
different of the world and be welcome there. I really want to
visit my good friend Carrie who lives
in Vermont, U.S.A. She owns a cafe there called Muddy Waters, which
just sounds so cool. I know I can walk into many parts of
the Philippines and be welcomed with open arms.
I don't really mind too much about missing
out on long term relationships. One of the many things I learnt
at Ashburn Clinic was that
intimate relationship scare me. Which relates well to my the
next thing that volunteering costs me...
Time
I recently celebrated by
thirty third birthday. Time is marching on for me. The
hair is getting a little gray and I can't quite run as fast as I used
to.
By the time I finish in Africa, I would of
volunteered for fifteen months. The only reason I am going
to Korea is to raise money so that I can do it all over again.
Most people my age are raising families by
now. It is not inconceivable that one day I will desire to have
a family. By the time I finish volunteering and get the
shit sorted out in my head, then it may be too late for me to have a
family.
What I get from it
Doing what I do also has an upside. The upsides outweigh the
downsides though, which is why I keep doing it.
Purpose
One of the positive things that came out of my stay in Ashburn
Clinic was that it gave me the chance to start from square
one. Anything and everything was negotiable. Some of the
big things changed (most notably my marriage and religion) and some
trivial things changed (my rugby allegiance).
I also eventually resigned from my job.
I wanted to do something more purposeful and altruistic with my
life. I stumbled upon the idea of volunteering in poverty stricken
countries in the hope it would give me a more purposeful existence.
The million dollar question is: Does
volunteering give me a purpose in life?
I think the best way to answer that is to
share what other people have said to me:
Raymund,
the head of CERV Philippines sent me the following text:
| ... U wil olways
be d greastest man 2 d many kids hus lives u've touched |
The ever adorable Janica
texted me:
TNX VERY MUCH SIR YOU KNOW MY
PARENTS TOLD ME EVN F THEIR 1ST TIME 2 MEET U? UR VRY CLOSE 2 US
& THEY FEL HAPPY WHEN THEY SEEN OF U UR SO POLITE AND GOOD MAN
|
A letter from Pamela
Elecierto in grade five said:
 Dear
Sir Malcolm,
Thank you for everything that you've given to us. Thank
you for spending youre time to us even though we are so very
noisy and naughty. You are very humble, kind,
understanding and very cool. We will miss you sir
especially youre jokes. You now sir we were blessed that
you are out teacher. We will dont forget you and all the
happy memories from you. thank you sir.
Your student
Pamela
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This
is also worth a look
Nobody said anything like that to me when I was working... The
farewell party that Pulao Elementary School gave me when I left
will forever be a highlight of my life.
I may end up being a lonely old man wishing I had had a
family. I will not end up being an old man wishing he had doing
something more purposeful with his life.
Escape Past
I love New Zealand. It is my home and I speak passionately
about it. I tell traditional New Zealand folk stories to the
children and have a New Zealand flag hanging in my room.
I learnt during my recent
trip to Dunedin that New Zealand is the last place in the world I
want to be at the moment.
I am here to escape my past. New
Zealand just has too many painful memories. Ashburn, friends
lost at Ashburn and my marriage breakup all figure prominently.
Erin, the GVN Rep, said that people often
volunteer when they are at a crossroads in their life. It is
certainly true for me.
Adventure
Being in a foreign country that is way out of your comfort zone is
just fun! I have no desire to visit traditional holiday
destinations. I want to visit third world countries, do some
good, and have crap-loads of adventures.
Assorted adventures include:
I'm sure I'll have many more adventures in
the months to come.
Meeting People
Meeting people is cool. I've met so many people from all
over the world. It's great.
Since I tend to volunteer for a lot longer
than other people I'm forever getting a stream of new and interesting
stories.
I wish I could do what
you're doing
When I was in New Zealand, I explained to so many people what I
was doing. The usual reply was, "Wow. That's so
cool. I wish I could do what you're doing."
It makes me feel good when people make
comments like that.
The truth of the matter is that anyone can do
what I am doing. You just have to weigh up whether or not the
above sacrifices are worth it for you.
Questions? Comments? Try contacting
me.
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(c)
2005 and 2006 Malcolm Trevena.
All the stuff on this site is written by me, Malcolm Trevena. Feel free to
link to this page. Heck, you can even copy stuff from here if you
want. Just make sure you sight me as a reference.
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