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Weddings and Godfathers

23rd January 2006

Someday - and that day may never come - I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, accept this justice as gift on my daughter's wedding day.

Marlon Brando - Godfather

Godfathering
Regular readers of my site may remember the time when I almost became a godfather to a newborn child. Well, this time there were no almosts about it! May-may, the lady who teachers me to speak Hilyganon every Monday, and Nathan asked me to be their Godfather for their upcoming wedding. I considered it a big honor to be asked and said "Yes," to it straight away.

I asked Eden, who was the Godmother, exactly what being a Godfather meant. Apparently if they have any marriage problems, they will come and talk to me. Not quite sure if I'm the best person to be dishing out marriage advice...

Wedding Gifts
Eden and I decided to head into the city and buy them something from the godparents. We got them some cutlery. *stifles yawn*

While we were in the mall, a prayer and a Hail Mary was broadcast over the internal speakers. Everybody in the mall stopped what they were doing, bowed their head and then crossed themselves when it was it over. It was all quite surreal.

Filipino Brides
I joked with Eden as that we probably looked like a married couple shopping for stuff in the mall. Whenever I am with a Filipino female in the city, people just assume that we are married. Which is a pretty good assumption usually, because there are a lot of western men here married to younger Filipino ladies.

Another volunteer and I were having a discussion about this the other day. We both felt that while some of them must of been True Wuv, most of them were probably lonely western men coming over here and shopping for a bride. Just a tad creepy.

Then we thought about it some more. If it is a crime, then like homosexuality, it is a victimless crime.

Typical Lonely Western Guy gets:

Companionship
All his meals, washing and housework done
Consensual Sex

Young Filipino Bribe gets:

Companionship
Financial Security for her and her family
Citizenship in a western country

Assuming that the sex is consensual and there is no domestic violence, then where is the victim? They're not hurting anyone and they are both benefiting from the arrangement.

There seems as if there must be something wrong with it, but I can't work out what it is. I'd be interested in hearing what any of you might have to say on this matter.

Divorce
The Philippines is one of only two countries in the world where divorce is illegal. They do have something called Annulment, which seems to me to be divorce by another name. Both parties may re-wed and the law considers them as separate entities.

To get an annulment you have to:

Have three reasons for the annulment
Things like adultery, domestic violence and no financial support are common reasons. "Only" being beaten by your husband or "only" being left to fend for yourself is not considered sufficient grounds for divorce.
Be rich
This is not what the law says, but it is what it boils down to.

Needless to say, annulments are very hard to get. The average Filipino wouldn't even bother trying to get an annulment.

Back to the Wedding of May-May and Nathan
May-may and Nathan got married on the 21st of January 2006. I had to duck out of the Scout Camp I was at to attend the ceremony. The wedding was a simple affair at Captain Audy's house. Captain Audy was the Father of the Bride.

The Mayor of Dumangas was suppose to officiate but was called away to Manila on urgent business. The Vice Mayor officiated in his place. The Vice Mayor is an interesting gentleman. He has a very dry sense of wit and often has people in stitches, while never cracking a grin himself.

He gave the usual speech, as far as I could tell, to the Bride and Groom during the ceremony. Family Planning is good. No communication is bad. That sort of thing.

During the signing of the register he exhibited, in my opinion, no class whatsoever by lighting up a cigarette. Putting all the health issues aside, there is a time and a place for smoking. The signing of the register is neither the time nor the place.

Being a godfather, I had to sign the register as well. It felt good to part of the official proceedings.

The highlight of the wedding for me was Captain Audy's speech. I couldn't understand most of what he was saying but the tears streaming down his face communicated more than any words could.

There was, of course, much food consumed after the ceremony.

Name Calling
Whenever I see Nathan or May-May now, they call me Nanenoy (Godfather). I call Nathan Ehado (Godson), and May-May Ehada (Goddaughter).

It is all quite nice really!

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(c) 2005 and 2006 Malcolm Trevena.
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