Halfway through my Philippines Experience
 1st January 2006
And when they were up, they
were up.
And when they were down, they were down.
And when they were only halfway up
They were neither up nor down.
The Grand Old Duke of York
I left for the Philippines on the 27th
of September 2005, and I will arrive back on the 8th of April
2006. Some simple math tells me that today, the 1st January 2006,
is exactly half way through my Philippines experience.
I thought this would be a good time to reflect back on the last three
months and look ahead to the next 3 months.
What I Expected vs. What Happened
I made a conscious effort to have as few expectations as
possible. I didn't want to construct some elaborate fantasy world
in my head, and then be disappointed when I got here. As a result, I was prepared for just about anything.
Living Conditions
I was prepared to live without electricity and running
water. I was happy to get back to bare-basics if required.
The house I am living in is a lot more modern than I thought it
would be.
It has electricity, running water and many modern appliances.
The food is cooked over a gas fire and all the clothes are
hand-washed. The electricity is on most of the time. When I got here, it
was off for about an hour each day. It has got much better since
then, although there was one time when it was off for an entire day.
Looking back at my life, the times I've been most happy are the
times I've been living in a dormitory style situation. I loved living
at Rochester and Rutherford Hall
and, while it was a hard place to be, the community atmosphere at Ashburn
Clinic was great. I had a place I could just hang out with
people and I could disappear into my own room when I wanted some
privacy.
This was the type of thing I was looking for in The Philippines.
I haven't got it and that's a little disappointing.
Initially I thought I was staying in a dormitory, but this changed
to a home-stay. The family I live with are really great. Reza,
Jen Jen and Nicole
are all really cool. I couldn't of asked for a nicer family to
live with. Eden, who has just moved out
(see below), is also really cool.
It is hard hanging out with some of the locals. Their English
can be scratchy at best and my Hiligaynon is just abysmal. I'll
be sitting in the living room and hear a sentence with
"Malcolm" in it. I'll look up and, with the help of
the locals, try to work out what was said. I eventually
get the gist of the sentence, but by that time the original
conversation has either lost momentum because of people trying to
explain it to me, or it has moved onto something else. Either
way, it makes it very hard to just be
sometimes.
Some people, such as Eden, can speak English
fluently and this makes talking with here really easy. Fluent
English speakers are few and far between.
Meghan and Gez, volunteers from the United Kingdom, have just
left. Eden has moved into the house they
vacated. Lachlan, a newly arrived volunteer, is also living there. Josie, another new
volunteer, is also living in close proximity. As a result, Eden
and Lachlan's house has turned into a bit of a volunteer
hang-out. Which is great. It is kinda what I was looking
for. There is a place where I can hang out with people (who
speak English fluently) and I can retreat to my own room if I want.
School
School is cool.
I've just picked up another two hours of tutoring math in the
morning to Grade Four and Six. It might be a more
useful if I taught some English, but fuck it, I enjoy teaching math. I'll do what I want for a change.
:)
I almost decided to take the classes for Grade Four and
Six as well but I thought it was best if I gradually increase my
hours. I don't want to break again and working hard was a
catalyst to my mental health problems.
As far as expectations go, it is not far off. Here
are some of my previous comments on the school and the state of
education in the Philippines.
I still get a surprise every now and then. Like the way the
students cut the grass.
Or the time I was comparing scars with one of the students. He
showed me a scar on his finger that he got when he cut himself with a
sickle while harvesting rice. He was six at the time.
Six! Far too young to be harvesting rice in my opinion.
I don't think I could teach in New Zealand. Western kids
often see the teacher as an authority figure and therefore something
to rebel against. Teenage boys, in particular, can turn into
little shits. I know, I was one of them. I expected the
kids at Pulao to be very respectful. I thought they would hang
on my every word and basically be so afraid of me that they would do
whatever I said.
Well, they are not afraid of me, which is good. They are very
respectful and never give me any cheek. Sometimes they can be a
bit naughty but nothing too bad. Though one of them did write
his name and my name on my hat. Ugh.
I was very good at my previous job, but it tended to put people out
of work and make the rich richer. I wanted to do something more
purposeful with my life and I hoped that teaching in The Philippines
would provide that.
Has it provided me with a sense of purpose? Hrmmm... A tough question to
answer.
How it doesn't provide purpose:
When I teach at Pulao, I am taking a class from an existing
teacher, Miss Thercy. Sometimes she does marking and teacher
stuff like that while I am teaching. Sometimes she disappears and I don't know
what she does. She might just be chillin' out.
I don't mind making her life a bit easier, she is a cool person
and deserves a break. Earning 250 pesos ($6.25) can't be
easy, particularly if you've got a family to support. The
average life of a teacher in the Philippines involves teaching
(duh) and traveling back and forth from school. That's about
it. A tough life.
Making one persons life a little bit easier is nice, but
doesn't really add a lot of purpose to one's own life.
Whether I am there or not, they will get an education and
will most likely graduate from elementary school. I think I
am a good teacher, but will I make that much of a
difference? Will I be the difference between a student
passing or not? Dunno.
How it does provide purpose:
- Time is such a precious gift to give to children. Some of
the children just revel in the time I give them. They
love the attention. They know I could be back in New Zealand
earning crap loads of money, but I've chosen to be here instead.
I try to given each of them some time and make them feel a bit
special. It can be hard though with so many students.
Some of girls in particular can be very quiet.
I imagine some of them can get a bit lost in their large Catholic
families and seldom get attention from adults. Coming from a
poor family whose dad is probably unemployed and depressed can't
help either.
Just today I bought in some photos and some cardboard. I got
some of the students to help me put it all
together into a nice poster.
Giving the kids all this attention makes me feel good.
- I try to be a role model to the kids. I'm not sure how I succeeding
in this, you'll have to ask the kids. I try to explain why I
don't smoke and drink and how I try to put others before
myself.
I really like this card that one of the
students gave me. It makes me feel that I succeeding at
being a role model in some small way.
In saying this though, I can't help but mention that I still have
my own demons that I keep hidden away from public sight. I am no
saint. Not even Jesus would forgive some of my sins.
There is a really cool character called Aticus in a
book called "To Kill a Mockingbird". Aticus tries
to be the same person in public as he is in private. Atticus
succeeds. It would be nice to think that I could be like
that one day.
- I try to inspire. I often emphasis the importance of an
education and how important it is. Knowledge = Power. They are probably sick of
me saying it! It frustrates me though because I know most of
their families just won't be able to afford to send them on to higher
education.
Even though I teach math, I always try and tell them how cool
books are. I've been buying lots of classic books*
for me to read. I plan to give these to the school just
before I leave.
I am also about to launch a short story competition for grades
four, five and six. They can write it in any language they
want. Well written and imaginative stories will most likely
win. I am trying to find some classic Filipino books to give
as prizes. It is proving much more difficult that I
thought. There are some good bookshops, but they are all
heavily influenced by the west.
Things I Miss
On the 5th of August, I wrote
that I would miss a fast reliable internet connection and McDonalds.
Well, the internet connection in Dumangas is diabolical.
Sometimes it is so slow that you can't even send email. There are
fast reliable connections in Iloilo City though. Sometimes I
travel 45 minutes into the city just to get to the
broadband. Mmm... Sweet Broadband...
There are many McDonalds (and Pizza Huts, KFC's etc) in the malls in
Iloilo City. Not that this matters now since I am cutting
way back on the junk food I eat.
I told Eden and Rowen my Most Missed List. It went something
like this:
- High speed Internet access
- Watching sports on television
- New Zealand summer fruit
- A hot shower
- The ladies
Rowen's list went like this:
Having "The
Lay-dees" at number five was a great source of amusement for
both Rowen and Eden.
I have managed to find most of the things I miss. I was craving
a steak for a while and eventually found a good one after a few false
starts.
I miss a hot shower the most.
Why did I do this?
I discussed my trip here at length with my clinical psychologist in
New Zealand, Tara
Clark. The goals we identified are listed below along with a
mark out of ten.
- A Sense of Purpose - 6 out of 10
A feel a bit more purposeful now. I like helping out at
the school and the feedback I get from the students. Sometimes
I still have to drag myself to school.
- Break out of the rut I was in - 9 out of 10
In New Zealand, I spent most of my time by myself. I would
only get out to see mental health professionals and one, sometimes
two, social events a week.
Things are much better here.
- Immerse myself in a community - 5 out of 10
The idea here was to try and recapture those times in my life where
I was most happy.
The home stay option is not what I initially signed up for.
While the family I live with is really great, the experience does
not really recapture those good times. This would of been a 3
out of 10 if not for the aforementioned volunteer hangout.
* "To Kill a Mockingbird", "1984",
"Pride and Prejudice", "Animal Farm", "Catcher
in the Rye", "Sons and Lovers", "Lord of the
Flies", "The God of Small Things", among others.
Not 100% sure if I will give these books to the kids at Pulao.
Some of the brighter kids will read them, but most will be unable to.
I maygive them to a
High School instead.
** The Lonely Planet Guide to The Philippines, 8th
Edition. Page 37.
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