Family Goodbyes
2nd April 2006
I headed out with the family I've been living
with and assorted friends for a dinner as a way of saying thank
you.
I was initially planning to go to the very good Al Dente restaurant
in the city. I got talking to Vincent -
one of the invited people - and he was dropping subtle hints that a
cheaper, more relaxed place where we could sing might be
nicer. I'm glad I took the hint.
While Al Dente is a very flash restaurant, it is maybe just a little
too flash for the people of Dumangas. Looking back at other times
I've been there with local folk, they have seemed just a tad
uncomfortable.
We headed to a restaurant along the coastal road
instead. The people that attended were:
- Reza, Nicole and Jen Jen
The nice folks kind enough to share their home with me.
I gave Reza and Jen Jen various pieces of New Zealand jewelry, some
photos and a New Zealand calendar as a remembrance from me.
- Eden
The local volunteer coordinator and a great friend.
I gave Eden the greenstone pendant that I wore around my neck
everyday. It is a sign of how close I was to her.
- Amay I
Amay I (as in Amay Number One) is a quiet,
but very nice young fellow. He often sleeps on the floor at
Reza's house, but I don't know if he technically lives there.
- Amay II and Vincent
Amay II and Vincent live at Eden's house and are always helping out the
volunteers. They have also become very good friends to me who
I will miss when I go.
I gave both Amay II and Vincent a New Zealand Tiki just
before I left. A Tiki is a traditional New Zealand
pendant. The particular Tiki I gave them show a warrior
doing a war dance. The warrior has his tongue sticking out
which means the warrior is very wise. The warrior was not
wielding any weapons.
I told them that if they ever need to fight for their country, then
they should be like the Tiki and fight with their minds and
not with their fists.
- June the Tricycle Driver
While I didn't technically invite June
- I only hired him to drive us around - I was happy to buy him
dinner. He works hard and is having it tough at the moment
with a sick child
- Reza's brother
Reza got a billion relations who often stay with her. Her
brother happened to be staying with us so he came along as well.
The meal itself was very nice. Lots of seafood, chicken, pork
and rice. We talked, ate and cried just a little.
I gave a speech just before we ate, thanking everybody for the
support they had given me.
I gave special mention to Reza who was kind
enough to share her home with me. I also gave a proxy thank you to Reza's husband,
Randy. Randy is an engineer on an oil tanker and has been on a year long voyage.
I never got to meet Randy, which was a shame. He didn't know me,
but he still gave his consent for my living with his wife and daughter.
Special mention was also given to Jen Jen who is
the housemaid at the place I live. She is only nineteen. By
my count, she cooked me about 420 meals and did about 25 loads of
washing for me.
Jen Jen was very upset when I left. I found her hiding
in the Sari Sari store and she was crying her heart out. I told
her how much I valued her friendship and how much I would miss
her. She was inconsolable though. Broke my
heart.
Singing
We sang many karaoke songs throughout the
evening. I personally belted out:
- Don't Dream it's Over - by Crowded House
A cool New Zealand song.
- Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts' Club Band - by the Beatles
My personal karaoke favorite.
- Leaving on a Jet Plane
No idea who this is by, by it was a very apt song.
- My Way - Frank Sinatra
A really arrogant toss of a song, but a great one to have fun to.
- Money For Nothing - Dire Straits
A great song to do air guitar to.
- One More Cup of Coffee - Bob Dylan
The only decent Bob Dylan song on the karaoke machines here, so I
had to sing it. I am a huge Bob Dylan fan and have 45 of his
records on my i-pod.
Everybody sang a song and had a great time. I'm glad we didn't
go out to a flash restaurant.
Living with a Filipino Family
I been lived with Reza, Jen Jen and Nicole for 189 days.
I was a little apprehensive initially. I really wanted
to do the dormitory style option and live with eight or so other
volunteers. For various reasons this didn't happen. I was a
little disappointed.
During the first couple of months it was quite hard. I'd often
disappear into my room, close my door and either read or write. I
was getting lots of social contact at school and with other volunteers,
but not so much at home.
Part of it was probably the language barrier. Reza has good
English, but not great, and we would often struggle getting meanings
across. Jen Jen's English was just okay. Nicole was just a
kid and spoke almost exclusively in Ilongo. It was quite
easy to hang out with Nicole though. A silly game of
throw-the-ball or hide-the-coin crosses language barriers quite easily.
Part of it was probably my recent living history. I had lived
by myself for a year or so and in Ashburn - a psychiatric hospital - for
the five months before that. Both can be hard places to live, but
for different reasons.
Eventually though, I quite warmed to the family and - judging by the
reaction when I left - they warmed to me too. Some of it was just
simple things like sitting in the lounge and staying a little longer
after meals.
One of the biggest show in the Philippines in the truly dreadful Big
Brother - Celebrity Edition. Ugh. Well and truly a
steaming pile. Soon to followed by the pedophile friendly Big
Brother - Teen Edition.
I decided to watch the Celebrity Edition version in the
evenings. It was a good way to relate to Jen Jen in
particular. We could laugh at the silly games they made them play
and say who we thought would get voted out. Some simple
communication without a lot of language.
Reza told me that if I am ever in Dumangas again, I will be more than
welcome to stay at her house again. Nice. I said that when
Nicole becomes the Festival Queen of Dumangas, I will come visit.
Nicole has a good shot I think. She is a pretty
young girl and won the Most Sociable award at her school.
When I arrived at Reza's house it was a place to stay at with various
Filipinos.
When I left, I was leaving a home and a family.
I will Reza, Nicole and Jen Jen terribly when I go.
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2005 and 2006 Malcolm Trevena.
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