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Guimaras

31st October 2005
Rowen, Eden, Pom and I decided to spend a weekend on Guimaras (gim-are-ass with a hard 'g') Island, which is just to the south of Ilo Ilo City.

We caught an outrigger boat from Ilo Ilo City to Guimaras, and then a jeepney south to the Rayman Beach Resort.

The resort was very nice. Clean rooms with ensuites and bless-ed air conditioning. A double room cost P1,500 ($NZ37.50) a night.

We spent the first few hours there hanging out at the beach, admiring the slightly pink sand and swimming in the crystal clear water.

People in New Zealand tend to spend most of their time on the beach, with the occasional dip in the water. In The Philippines, it is the other way around. People spend hours in the water, only surfacing for drinks or cigarettes.

It is very rare that I see any westerners in The Philippines, but I did see a large American gentleman on Guimaras wearing a "Don't Blame Me. I Voted Kerry" t-shirt. The only other westerners I've seen were a couple of Mormons, probably from Utah. They didn't speak to me though, so if I end up in Hell, I'll know whom to blame.

We hired a boat and had a look around some of the smaller islands. The driver took us to Turtle Island and showed us some sea turtles that had been placed in a concrete tub for our viewing pleasure. I felt like a eco-tourist-terrorist doing more harm than good, but I picked up a turtle anyway and posed for a photo.

The water was quite shallow, so we swam across to a small neighbouring island. The island was home to a family of about eight. It was hard to know exactly how many there were in the family though, because they hid inside their bamboo house while we were there. Eco-tourist-terrorist-boy strikes again... Eden gave them 20 pesos ($NZ0.50) as we left, which I thought was a nice gesture.

The driver of the boat then took us inside of this cool bat-filled cave, where I posed for some suitably posey pictures.

After the boat trip we head back to the main island and chilled out for a bit. I got talking to Eden and part of our conversation went something like this:

Malcolm	(boasting proudly) I've only ever been to about 5 nightclubs in my life.
Eden	I've never been to one. I think they're degrading to women.
Malcolm	Hrmmm. I don't think so. They seem to have as much fun as the guys.
Eden	Well, I do. Prostitution is a huge problem in the Philippines.
Malcolm	(starts choking on his Coke) What?! No. No. No. That's not what I meant. I mean that's, err..., not what they're, erm...for in, um, New Zealand.

A few awkward moments later, I discovered that what Filipinos call "Nightclubs", New Zealanders call "Brothels", and what New Zealanders call "Nightclubs", Filipinos call "Discos". Lesson learnt.

After a pleasant night in the air-conditioned rooms we headed back to Ilo Ilo city and did some shopping in a mall. We had lunch at Jolibees, which is a huge McDonalds style fast food chain. I gorged myself on a Champ burger with an extra yum-patty. No longer feeling like an eco-tourist-terrorist, but merely a bloated fat whiteman, I headed back to Dumangas with the rest of the motley crew.