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Where
Am I Archive
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Crazymalc goes to a Nightclub
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Malcolm |
(boasting proudly) I've only ever been to about 5 nightclubs in my life. |
| Eden | I've never been to one. I think they're degrading to women. |
| Malcolm | Hrmmm. I don't think so. They seem to have as much fun as the guys. |
| Eden | Well, I do. Prostitution is a huge problem in the Philippines. |
| Malcolm | (starts choking on his Coke) What?! No. No. No. That's not what I meant. I mean that's, err..., not what they're, erm...for in, um, New Zealand. |
So, keep that is mind when you read this page. "Nightclub" in Filipino means "Brothel", and "Disco" means "Dancing place".
Saying Thank You
Glenn and Alison are two volunteers from Australia. They are
due to head home in the near future. To say thank you, the mayor
took all the volunteers out for dinner and a night on the town.
We headed to a local seafood place called Joy-Joys. All the food that was seen was eaten and all the drunks had drinks.
Err... wait... That's no right. Lemme try again.
Much seafood was eaten and many drinks were drunk.
Much better!
We all piled into a couple vehicles and headed to this in Iloilo to sing some karaoke.
Nightclubing
We arrived at this classy looking joint. The car was parked
and we headed up the stairs to the "karaoke" bar.
As soon as we entered the door, about ten or so scantily clad young ladies sprang to their feet and said "Good Evening" with great gusto.
Awkward moment...
I exchanged glances with some of the other volunteers, thankful to have somewhere decent to look.
The locals that we were with, both male and female, weren't at all put off. I checked with Eden to make sure that this actually was a nightclub. She said it was an up-market nightclub, primarily designed for the rich white man. i.e. people like me. I am very rich by Filipino standards.
I get the impression that it is almost considered the norm for government officials to visit places like this. Not necessarily partaking in the services offered, but present nevertheless. Government officials have told me that they often meet up a strip joints and brothels. It is all stated matter-of-factly with no shame whatsoever.
If a New Zealand government official was caught in such a place, it would make the evening news and the front page of major newspapers.
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Extra! Extra! Mayor Trevena caught in Brothel |
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Auckland, New Zealand: The Hon. Malcolm Trevena, the elected mayor of Auckland City, was present last night at Rendezvous, an inner city brothel. Pictures of Mayor Trevena, in various stages of undress, are starting to appear in all major papers. Suzy, a former South African waitress now working at the brothel, tipped off the local media. "He is in here most nights. Throwing around his money like he is some kind of big shot. I got tired of his attitude and thought something should be done about it", she was quoted as saying. Candy, the proprietor of Rendezvous and political activist, was asked what affect this might have on the Mayor's credibility. "I couldn't give a rat's a*** about the Mayor's credibility," she said. "We're gonna lose our best customer!" Later on in the evening, the following press statement was released by the Mayor's Office: Mayor
Trevena is currently recovering in hospital. We suspect that
his drinks were spiked with some type of drug, which would explain
this uncharacteristic behavior. Suzy, the waitress, vehemently denied this accusation. "I just can't believe this has happened to me again," she said. "I thought I could escape this sort of thing in New Zealand." This is the latest in a series of bad publicity for Mayor Malcolm. He still has not shaken off the incident with the fish bowl, the packet of M and M's and the washing machine. A snap poll revealed that his popularity rating has dropped to 6.3%, an all-time record for the western world. |
The nightclub had a 200 peso per person minimum charge, so we had to order a few drinks and sing some karaoke. The scantily clad young ladies clapped along with our songs, and even played a tambourine for the rockier numbers.
Due to some miscommunication, the people in the other vehicle had ended up in a different part of the Mega-Hotel-Complex-Place-Thing. We left the nightclub (to a chorus of "Goodbyes" and "Take care" form the girls) and headed to a bar.
Normality Resumes
Hanging out at the bar was a lot of fun.
We met up with a guy called Onal there. Onal is an interesting guy. He is a local celebrity in Iloilo. He has appeared on television, released his own romantic ballad CD and was the Master of Ceremonies for the Octoberfest in Dumangas.
Sizzle, the band who were playing at the bar, invited Onal up on stage to sing a couple of songs. Now while I have Vincent Van Gogh's ear for music and all the rhythm of an epileptic fit, even I could tell that Onal sings very well.
Somehow he managed to get me up on stage to receive a kiss on the cheek from the lead female singer. Score!
Mayor Distura was also invited up to sing a couple of songs.
Sizzle started to play some more up beat songs, so we all got up and had a dance.
We headed home at around 2:30 am.
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(c)
2005 and 2006 Malcolm Trevena.
All the stuff on this site is written by me, Malcolm Trevena. Feel free to
link to this page. Heck, you can even copy stuff from here if you
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